E^ST ALBUM REVIEW | The Monthly Groove

E^ST

I'M DOING IT: Album Review

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E^ST has been around the Aussie music scene for five years now, and the constant flow of EPs and singles made this debut album I'M DOING IT incredibly sought after. Over the past five years, E^ST - real name Melisa Bester - has developed her own unique sound, with a mix of synth-pop beats and catchy reverb vocal melodies. Tracks like Life Goes On and I Don't Lack Imagination secured her spot in the Aussie festival-pop scene, and showed us just how talented a songwriter and creator E^ST is.

This album takes you on a journey from gut-wrenching heartbreak and loss, to the feeling of pain and self-doubt and finally, to acceptance and coping. Most collections of music attempt to tell stories with their songs, and most fail. Every one of these songs tell a story in their own right, yet when put together become a thirty-six-minute journey of a young adult's life. It's kind of like FRIENDS; you can watch the episodes by themselves but it's so much better when you watch the whole series.

The record opens with the subtle vocal distortion E^ST is well known for, with lyrics like "What does it matter? I'm fucked anyway". Ooft... It hits hard. It musically brings you into the trance-pop world of E^ST before seamlessly flowing into FLIGHT PATH, a pop banger with a deep message of loneliness and loss. She takes this lyrical message with her into MAYBE IT'S ME, a dance-hit with an award worthy drum track and - you guessed it - more defeatist lyrics enveloped with an upbeat pop track and catchy vocal melodies. The next stage soars in - you know, that shitty feeling after a breakup when it finally hits you - and with it comes FOUND SOMEBODY; a story of true heartbreak as she realises her ex-lover has found someone to love, and it's not her. So, she quits! (I don't blame her really...). Declaring that her heart is now off limits in FRESH OUT OF LOVE, E^ST expresses operatic vocals over orchestral strings before the song ends with sad acoustic strums to - finally - match the sadness of the lyrics. Then, as anyone who has experienced heartbreak knows, comes the self-deprecation and loathing. I'M NOT FUNNY ANYMORE mixes the message of self-doubt in MAYBE IT'S ME with the loneliness and lost hope of FLIGHT PATH, and we end up with a heartbreaking piano ballad which breaks the album up at the perfect moment, surrendering to the weight of her heartbreak.

Like every heartbreak, you eventually - albeit slow - get to a moment of realisation; a moment of peace. TURN brings that epiphanic moment that she can "turn it around" through incredibly raw low-production tracking with simple melodies, adding to the unrestrained feel and message of the song. Then at the perfect moment comes the album's lead single TALK DEEP, with another seamless transition from the previous track thanks to perfection of the underlying synth track. It's like she's woken up from the trance and is back to feelings of hope and love, making something as simple as a conversation in bed the most electrifying feeling. She continues with these sparks of hope in NO ONE WITH YOU, as she sings, "I'm happy being no one with you" to someone who just makes her feel content, without the need for anything more. You'd think the journey ends there, however feeling content is not the end. We as humans still need love, and E^ST excruciatingly finds her catharsis in WALKING HOME IN THE RAIN, realising it's time to pick herself up and try to love again. Lyrics like, "So what if I'm sad/This is the best life I'll ever have" reveals the acceptance within herself that she is going to be okay. Then, BAM! This powerful human tells us that she's got shit to do in GET THROUGH, repeatedly reminding herself, "One of these days I will forget you", before coming through with her message of empowerment in I WANNA BE HERE.

The final track - and title track - of the album reassures herself and us as listeners that yes - she's doing it! But she's doing it for herself and not for anyone else, reminding us all that you can't love someone properly until you love yourself first.

It is exceedingly rare that I will mention every single song in an album review, but with I'M DOING IT, it was impossible not to with its perfectly ordered flow of tracks. Every single song, whether you hear it on or off the album, is unique to E^ST's style and you already know it's her song. We as listeners feel the heartbreak and struggles E^ST goes through to put the pieces of the puzzle that is her life together again, however there are still a few pieces missing by the end of the record; pieces that she will come to find and fit into the puzzle in the future. What an album, and what a human being. This album cannot be missed out on, and I believe there is even more to this story yet to come.